Celebrate The Month of May With Me!

The month of May is always a month of celebration and milestone for me.  May opens up with the recognition that I am blessed to have three children who get an opportunity to hit their dad up for money so they can purchase Mother’s Day gifts for me.  Shortly after Mother’s day, I celebrate my birthday on May 16^th.  This year I am celebrating the fact that I am 52 years old, in good health and ran I ran my first half-marathon just a few weeks ago!

Another significant point of celebration for May 2015, is the graduation of my oldest son, Johnathan better known as JohnEli, is graduating from high school.  He is a fine young man, who received the Oprah Winfrey Scholarship along with other scholarships that will help his parents pay his tuition at Morehouse College where he will be attending in the Fall 2015.

However, of the all the celebrations in the month May, the one that is very dear to me is the celebration of women who are connected to my dream, My Sister’s Keeper Foundation for Women.  For the past 8 years, I have dedicated my birthday to fundraising for MSK Foundation for the purposes of “Moving Women from Average to Excellence.” Each year that I get the opportunity to empower women through this influential leading organization is worth celebrating!

This year, I’m inviting to join the celebration by purchasing a ticket to attend the MSK Women of Excellence Awards and Scholarship Dinner that will be held on my birthday, May 16^th www.eventbrite.com/e/msk-women-of-excellence-awards-scholarship-luncheon-tickets. You can also make a tax-deductible donation to MSK Foundation on our website at www.mskfoundation.org.  There you will learn more about our organization and the work we do in empowering women and girls. Finally, you can spread the word about MSK Foundation and encourage women to connect with us through our life changing programming or by volunteering to serve with us in the future.

Thanks in advance for Celebrating the Month of May with Me!

Dr. Toni

Our History Is Our Strength

March is National Women’s History Month and this year’s theme Weaving the Story of Women’s Lives is very intriguing to me.  As I perused the website of the National Women’s History Project (www.nwhp.org) I found these words “Our History Is Our Strength.” I thought, “Yes, that’s it!” Our stories speak to our history and our history is our strength!

Many women carry shame regarding their stories. Often women keep silent about their history and many suffer with feelings of unworthiness because of painful events of their past.  Even when we have accomplishments for which we can be proud, some women are less likely to share for fear they will be perceived as aggressive, overbearing or even worse, being the target of another woman's envy or jealousy.

Like most women, I too have things in my past for which I am not proud.  There have been times in my life that I wished my circumstances were different or that things would have turned out better. Robert Clinton in his book, Connecting refers to these things as Sovereign Foundations. These are things in our lives for which we have no control over. For example, where we were born, to whom we were born, our race, ethnicity, gender and sometimes the events of our lives that characterize our history.

For example, growing up as a young girl in the city of Chicago, I suffered with low self-esteem because I was teased about being dark skinned. This week I received an email from an elementary school teacher in another state telling me that she follows me on social media and noticed that I seemed to be very comfortable in my own skin. She asked if I would be willing to speak with a young girl in her class who shared she wanted to kill herself because she did not like being dark skinned. When we spoke, I shared a little bit of my story and told her that I would be willing to speak with this student on the phone if she could arrange it with her parents. She then asked what it would take for her to bring me to her city to speak to the girls in her school about healthy self-esteem. I appreciate God for giving me the opportunity to share my story and help a young woman know she is "fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of God (Psalm 139:14).

To weave anything requires the interlacing of threads of material composing a connected whole out of the elements and details of different cloths and patterns.  When I think of weaving the stories of women’s lives I am made vividly aware of the differences women share. Yet, when brought together in a bond of unity women’s lives create a colorful tapestry of sisterhood and strength.

There are experiences that color our history and while we may have painful memories around those experiences we cannot change them. I often tell women, you are not what happened to you, but you can use what happened to you to empower others and propel you into greater stations of impact and significance. During this Women’s History Month reflect on your story, share elements of your story, celebrate the lives and the stories of other women and remember Our History Is Our Strength!

Dr. Toni

www.drrtonialvarado.com

Love Your Neighbor as Yourself...

February is always an interesting month.  It’s a time characterized by expressions of love for our spouses, significant others and love interests. Children are often encouraged in school to create and give Valentine cards to teachers, fellow classmates and parents during this festive season.  While this season is a happy time for many, there are those who dread this season because it can be reminder that they are without a special person to whom they can share the difficulties and joys of life.

While, I share this time with my husband of 22 years and my three teenage children, this month is also a reminder to me that I am not only called to love others but I am also called to love myself.  Before you stone me, I’m not talking about selfish ambition or a life filled with self-centered activities and desires.

Self-care is one of my personal values that is expressed in the way I conduct my daily affairs, manage my daily responsibilities as well as those special things I do to reward myself for the hard work and energy I put into caring for others.  Being a wife, mother, pastor, business owner, college professor, coach, mentor, professional speaker and community leader, you can imagine that my life is pretty full. However, with all that I am called to be and do, I do not fail to put myself in the equation of the things that are really important. In fact, if I am not at the top of my “to-do list” all of things that I am gifted to do will greatly suffer.

I can always tell when I am operating on fumes or when I need to rest by pulling away for a time of retreat or refreshment.  Let’s see if you are something like me: In those times where my soul is depleted I’m extra-sensitive, teary, moody, snappy or just plain old tired.  When I overload my schedule or over-commit myself, I begin to regret that I have done so, I waste precious time fighting feelings of guilt and I do not enjoy my work as much as I should. What’s even worse is that I begin to drop some of those balls I’ve been so good juggling, forgetting appointments and my work lacks the excellence and professionalism that it requires.

What does self-care look like for me?  My self-care routine takes on many forms.  It includes, exercise, healthy eating, regular spa appointments, dates with my spouse, family time, quite time, listening to good music, reading a good book, running, biking, yoga, and spiritual disciplines such as fasting, prayer and scripture reading.

In speaking of the Great Commandment, Jesus teaches us to love our neighbor as we love ourselves (Mark 12: 30-31).  This means that I am to love and sacrifice for the sake of others. This also means that I cannot truly love others if I neglect to care for myself. If you have not already done so, make a list of all the things you enjoy and begin putting self-care activities on your calendar. You will love and appreciate others better when you have cared for yourself.

Dr. Toni

www.drtonialvarado.com

What Does ‘Living With No Regret’ Mean to You? Join The Discussion…

It is always a good practice to reflect over past years as we approach the dawning of a new year. Many people begin the New Year making resolutions related to personal, professional and spiritual growth.  Yet, there are those who end each year frustrated over failed plans, disappointed hopes and deferred dreams.

In my musings, one of the thoughts that I have been struggling with is the idea of ‘Living With No Regret’.  Intrigued by this thought, I decided to ask a few women to answer the question, “What Does ‘Living With No Regret’ Mean to you?  Read how these women answered this question and join the discussion!

•     Living with no regret for me is making decisions based upon what is best for me at the time while considering how God created me rather than what others may feel is best for me.

          Meldora Skaggs

•          To me living with no regret means: Living with passion, purpose and vigor while viewing past mistakes and failures as life’s lessons!

          Aisha Ferguson

•           Living with no regret means trying everything that you believe you can do and not being stopped by your fears or anyone else’s fears for you. Life without regrets means changing your definition of failure and success.

          Deborah Woods

•           Living with no regret for me means there are no mistakes in life only life lessons that mold and shape our character. Living with no regrets means our options are limitless.

         Ebony Steiner

•           Interesting question… I am not certain we can live with no regret. In reflection of my life, I have decisions, behaviors, thoughts and actions I either regret I participated in or allowed, or regret I did not follow with full passion. Regret can be a self-check to ensure that one is living with compassion and the realization that in our human frailty mistakes are made. However, I do know that I can live without condemnation for the decisions I regret. As the Apostle Paul teaches in Romans 8:1, “Now there is no more condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus.” To this I fully embrace that I am not condemned and forever bound by regretful choices. I can live free of the past and fully embrace each day as an opportunity to live in The Light!

          Yolonda Griffin-Johnson

•          Thought provoking question! I would like to say that I live a life with no regrets, but that’s not true. I have regrets but those regrets do not have me. Each year on my birthday, I look back to compare where I am with where I thought I would be or planned to be on that day. Some years I’m pleased with what I see and some years I stare at the would’a, could’a, should’a of the things that did not add up or rise up to full expectation. However, I don’t stop there I re-evaluate, forgive myself and use those failures, delayed, untimely and unfulfilled experiences as rungs on my ladder and I give myself permission to begin again or simply pick up the pieces and move forward, prayerfully and without regrets, realizing that I might encounter more things that I will regret but it will not be regret over the same mistakes.

          Billie Boyd-Cox

•           Living with no regrets for me is about learning to accept my imperfections as well as others. It’s about a conscious decision or mindset that I impose on myself knowing that when I’ve done my best, I can move on to the next thing. It’s a daily, intentional choice I make to celebrate any progress or regression knowing I have more hours in a day, more weeks in a year to course correct or accept my actions as is. Living with no regret s free and keeps me from competing with others. It also keeps me humble before God realizing that I am a part of a larger process that’s not entirely all mine.

          Hope Sutton

•          “Living with no regrets” means to me living a healthy wholesome life despite failures, disappointments, and mistakes. I see the statement as a paradox. If we live, we will have regrets. But to soar (really live), we must live above our regrets.

          Sabrina J. Ellis

I agree like most, I’m not sure if we can totally live our lives void of regret. For me, living with no regret (or minimizing my regret) means learning from past mistakes, overcoming self-defeating patterns, aligning my actions with my God-given gifts, skills and abilities, understanding the purpose and plan of God, focusing on my life calling, taking care of myself (spirit, soul and body), appreciating and spending quality time with my family and significant relationships, forgiving those who have hurt me, remaining vulnerable to love those who may hurt me, playing hard, working hard, traveling and seeing the world and living life with vigor and passion!

What Does ‘Living With No Regret’ Mean to You? Join the discussion by leaving your comments on my blog. Gather your family and friends and start a healthy discussion around this topic, and take time in this New Year to LIVE!

Dr. Toni G. Alvarado, President

Targeted Living Coaching & Consulting, LLC

www.drtonialvarado.com

www.targeted-living.com

Enjoy a Healthy Holiday Season!

Healthy Holiday Eating        

By Janet S.Young, Ph.D.

The holidays are upon us, and you know what that means—food, food and more food!  How can you keep from losing control at the holiday table?  How do you stand firm in your convictions when challenged by family and friends who may not share your commitment to better health and nutrition? 

First of all, remember the basics of good nutrition:

Increase fresh fruits and vegetables:

o   aim for at least 5 servings/day

o   select produce that is local, in season, and organic

Add more 100% whole grains, beans and legumes

Practice portion control (pay attention to per serving size)

Avoid  foods that contain:

o   high fructose corn syrup

o   hydrogenated/partially hydrogenated oil

o   sodium (including nitrites, nitrates, & MSG)

o   sugar & sugar substitutes

o   additives, dyes, preservatives

Decrease/avoid the following:

o   animal protein

o   caffeinated drinks and other stimulants (including sports/energy drinks)

o   alcohol

To facilitate good digestion:

o   Sit down, eat slowly and chew food well (20-30 times)

o   Don’t drink liquids with your meal; drink liquids either 30 minutes before or one hour after meals

o   Practice proper Food Combining or follow the Blood Type Diet*

Eating out doesn’t have to be a challenge, whether you’re at a holiday party or a restaurant:

If possible, eat a healthy snack or drink a large glass of water before going out

Maintain control by asking for what you want/need

Practice portion control or choose a smaller plate

Fill plate with at least 2/3 vegetables, fruit, grains and beans and 1/3 or less of animal protein (see MyPlate.gov OR Harvard Healthy Eating Plate)

Eat slowly and chew food well (20-30 times)

Avoid fried, salty and greasy foods

Beware of high sodium/high fat salad dressing and order your dressing on the side

Choose tomato base sauces over cream sauces

Share dessert

STOP eating when you feel full

Take home the excess in a “to-go” box -You’re still getting your money’s worth!!

Lastly, to combat the stress of the holidays and avoid cold and flu bugs:

Strengthen your immune system, and increase your energy and stamina, by adding Super Foods such as: milled flaxseed*, raw wheat germ, bee pollen, and sea vegetables

Also add Power Foods such as: açai berry, blueberries, strawberries, pineapples, papaya, sweet potatoes, tomatoes, brown rice, whole grain pasta, oatmeal, cold water seafood, yogurt (unsweetened and with live, active cultures), garlic, broccoli, beans, nuts and seeds, herbs/spices, ginger, onion, cayenne, thyme, lemons, and green tea

Drink Genesis by Symmetry*

Take Vitamin C supplements

Drink more water

Exercise at least 3 times/week

Sleep 7-8 hours/night

*Available from Dr. Janet. To purchase or schedule services, contact her at: healthynulife@yahoo.com, or visit www.thenaturalpathway.com

Enjoy a Healthy Holiday Season!

Dr. Toni

www.drtonialvarado.com

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 

The Greatest Tragedy In Life Is A Life Without Purpose ~ A Tribute to Dr. Myles & Lady Ruth Munroe

“The Greatest Tragedy in Life is Not Death, But a Life Without Purpose.” ~ Dr. Myles Munroe

It’s been almost two weeks since the world was shocked by the tragic plane crash that claimed the lives of Dr. Myles & Lady Ruth Munroe along with seven other members of their church, family, leadership team and aircraft crew.  The news of this tragedy quickly filled up social media and other media outlets, while many began making phone calls and text messaging family and friends in utter disbelief that something this tragic could happen to people who appeared almost invincible. As I sat for many hours trying to wrap my brain around this tragic event, I was comforted in my assurance that this man and woman lived a life of purpose.

Dr. Myles Munroe was a game changer. He shifted our understanding of creation helping us to understand that our lives have meaning and significance. I can remember the first time I heard him speak live. His words filled the room. I listened intently to his message on purpose and connected to this truth in ways that changed my life forever. My entire life is a testimony of the sovereign power of God and the courage to discover my life purpose and destiny.

Quoting Dr. Munroe many times in my sermons, workshops and writings on purpose and destiny, his sudden death makes me aware of how much his teaching has influenced my life’s work and ministry. In fact, it was the revelation that I received from his teaching on purpose that became the inspiration for my first book, Run and Not Be Weary: The Pursuit of Purpose and Destiny.  In it, I offer some spiritual and practical truths in an effort to illuminate a pathway for those who dare to make the journey toward purpose and destiny.  

One truth and principle that we all must embrace wholeheartedly, is that God has a definite plan for our lives.  This is a comforting notion, but the chilling reality is that it is our job to search it out, unearth the hidden treasures that God has placed inside of us, doing the necessary work in maintaining, developing, and maximizing our unique potential. 

One of my favorite quotes by Dr. Myles Munroe is “The richest place on the planet is the cemetery.” He posits, so many people die with untapped potential and unrealized dreams and passion residing inside of them. He encouraged us to “die empty”, meaning we must live a life of purpose and leave a legacy in the earth for the next generation to follow and build upon.

Listening to videos of some of his last messages, interviews and candid conversations, it seemed that he was giving his closing remarks. He began to go beyond the borders of living a single life of purpose, encouraging leaders to mentor others in such a way that those who follow have the ability to continue the vision in the absence of the leader or in the event of a tragedy, or in the untimely death of the leader. He stated, “Success is not success without a successor” and “If your vision dies with you, you have failed as a leader.”

My tribute is to live my life in a manner that when I die, it will cause for a celebration of the marriage and family that I enjoyed, the lives that I inspired, the women and men that I empowered, the children that I nurtured, the books that I authored, the songs that I sang, the sermons that I preached, the people that I coached and mentored, the legacy that I built, and the life that I Lived On Purpose!

Rest In Peace Dr. Myles & Lady Ruth Munroe, while I did not know you personally, I am counted among the millions of people that your lives touched.

Dr. Toni G. Alvarado

www.drtonialvarado.com

Improve Your Health Through Life Coaching

Coaching is a profession that is designed to meet the needs of people who want to improve their life satisfaction in several life categories such as: family, career, emotional, physical, spiritual, financial, and relationships.  When it comes to living a healthy lifestyle, it is more than what you eat and how you exercise. How well you sleep, how well you handle stress and your emotional wellbeing impacts the quality of your health.

Assessment: Assess your need for a life coach by answering the following questions:

•       Have you received good health tips and advice that you find difficult follow?
•       Has your doctor recommended a lifestyle that you find to be unattainable?
•       Have you set weight loss goals and found that you cannot achieve it alone?
•       Do you feel that your life is out of balance?
•       Do you make statements like my plate is too full to exercise or eat healthy?

If you have answered yes to two or more of these questions, you could benefit greatly from a coaching relationship.

The Impact of Coaching on Good Health:

Coaches are knowledgeable advisors who provide ongoing support, and guidance as you set goals and make sustainable changes that improve health and happiness. Health Coaches, specifically partner with you and together you can explore concerns that are specific to your body and discover the health habits, exercise routines and tools that you need for a lifetime of good health. Coaches listen carefully and help you navigate the world of nutrition, physical fitness, health and wellness by:

•     Assisting you in identifying barriers to wellness and lifestyle management.
•     Helping you discover the changes that are necessary for the improvement of your health.
•     Recognizing and shifting behaviors and self-defeating beliefs that hinder success and readiness for change.
•     Guiding you in the development of an individual growth and health plan.
•     Helping you discover tools & practices of self-care that are consistent with your personality and passions.
•     Assisting you in setting and achieving SMART (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, Timely) Goals.
•     Providing support, encouragement and accountability for achieving your goals.

      While it is important to follow the advice of physicians and health professional, life coaches can help us develop preventative measures and strategies for maintaining a healthy lifestyle. 

Find a good life coach and improve your health!

Dr. Toni G. Alvarado

www.drtonialvarado.com

Don't Let The Rain Stop You

I recently enjoyed one of the most relaxed Friday’s I’ve had in a while. After leading a 5 am prayer call, I decided to take a break from my usual Friday exercise routine.  Actually, I went to my yoga and kickboxing classes the prior evening so I decided to go walking in my favorite park with our dog, Leo. Upon leaving home, the rain clouds started to form in the sky.  My first response was to turn around and go back home, but I heard the Spirit say, "Don't let the rain stop you." 

When we arrived, I grabbed my umbrella and started walking. As we walked, of course it started to rain. While walking I saw others running and walking in the rain and I began to fully take in the scenery of my favorite park.

The morning's rain was a cleansing, refreshing rain and I truly enjoyed it. After my walk in the rain, I enjoyed a facial at my favorite spa and later enjoying my time at my favorite Friday appointment, you guessed it, the hair salon.

Sitting in the hair salon, I could see the rain clouds rolling away and the sun burst through into a beautiful bright day! The moral of this story is, “Don't let the rain stop you:”

• Keep your plans even if you have to make an adjustment.

• Keep an umbrella somewhere close; expect some rain every now and then.

• Keep a positive mental attitude and become fully present in the moment.

• Keep a good walking companion, one that can handle a little rain (like Leo).

The rain does not last forever, so enjoy your day even if you have to endure a little rain….

Dr. Toni

www.drtonialvarado.com

The Power of Connection

This week, I had the privilege of speaking to a dynamic audience of women in Atlanta at the Pink Power MasterMind Conference for Women. It was an amazing gathering of women from all walks of life. The conference was packed with powerful speakers with the sole purpose of empowering women to own their unique power to lead. One of my takeaways from the conference was the idea that women are more powerful when we connect with the right agenda, motives and persons.

Connectivity is the state or quality of being connected. It suggests that we do not exist outside of our communities and our communities do not exist outside of our influence.  We each bring something unique to the table and without the uniqueness that each person brings our communities are impoverished.

During the Pink Power Conference, I sat through some great presentations and listened to a wealth of insight and knowledge that was applicable to my own life and work.  I celebrated with women who were being honored for their accomplishments in the community and workplace. 

What I appreciated the most about the conference was the unselfish sharing of information and resources that assisted women in being successful in business, entrepreneurship, and life in general. I laughed, cried and rejoiced as women shared candidly from their stories of struggle and triumph in business. While I too was there to share as a speaker, I also came away empowered to accomplish and be all that God has created me to be.

Here’s what I leave with you:

• Find a group of positive people and connect on a common goal or similar passion. 
• Be your authentic self and show up every time you are needed in a particular setting. 
• Trust what’s inside of you and pour out freely because the community desperately needs what you have to offer. 
• Celebrate the gifts, opportunities and uniqueness of others and remain open to what they can offer you.

It's the Power of Connection!

Dr. Toni

www.drtonialvarado.com

It's Mind Over Matter

I’m having the most amazing fitness summer! This year I decided to increase my level of fitness. I’m taking a different approach by trying new sports and participating in fitness classes that I once avoided.  One of the fitness classes is the "dreaded" spin class.  Admittedly, I attended a spin class many years ago and vowed that I would never do it again. Because of that one experience (that I did not enjoy), I convinced myself that this activity was not designed for me. After years of watching others go in and out of spin classes excited about their experience, I finally mustered up enough courage to try it again.  I’m happy to say, I conquered my fear of spin and it is now a class that I truly enjoy!

In addition to spin classes, I’m regularly attending kickboxing, strength training and yoga classes. I enjoy bike riding in my favorite parks and because I live in Georgia, hiking, running and walking at Stone Mountain Park has become one of my favorite routines. While it is challenging, I enjoy every moment of it! Whether, I am training with fitness coach, LaTasha Lewis at Tadda’s Fitness Camp or on my own, I can hear her voice encouraging me with the words; “It’s mind over matter.”

I am very active on social media, often posting about my exercise and wellness routines. Because of the things I post about my own fitness journey, people have been inspired and many have started exercising due to my example.  I wish I could boast that I never get tired or experience moments when I do not want to work out.  It is not easy to get out of bed before dawn, especially when you manage a busy family and lifestyle such my own.

Over the years I have developed a thinking skill that is vital to my success in every area of life. Here’s what I have learned:

      Be Quick To Think Differently - I have learned to lasso negative thoughts before they dominate my mind. One of my best practices is the recitation of scripture and famous quotes that teaches me to think in a positive manner.

         Focus On The Big Picture  – When working out, I focus my mind on the benefits of a healthy lifestyle and away from the temporary pain or struggle I may be experiencing at the time. When I view the workout as a necessary component to my overall health plan, I am able to make direct correlations between my thought patterns and my ability to accomplish the task at hand. 

     Train Your Mind To Think Positively - So many times we set out to accomplish something difficult and immediately negative thoughts will take over causing us to quit.  Training your body requires that you train your mind. Thinking positively about what you are doing gives you the energy and strength that you will need to finish well.

While your workout or whatever you are facing may be difficult and challenging, at the end of the day, you have what it takes to meet every challenge. Whether it is exercise, healthy eating, accomplishing a task related to a goal, school, or work, how we think really affects our ability to accomplish our dreams. I leave you with one of my favorite Biblical passages for your meditation, “Begin to think on the Word or begin to sing a praise song to God. Make a conscious effort to fill your mind with good, pure, wholesome, and lovely thoughts (Philippians 4:8 Amp. Version).

Remember, ‘It’s Mind Over Matter!’

Dr. Toni

www.drtonialvarado.com

Harmony Trumps Balance: I’m Going for Harmony in My Life!

For many years I sought to strike a healthy balance between my marriage, family, work and personal pursuits.  I’m often asked the infamous balance question, “Dr. Toni, How do you balance all of the things you do? You’re a wife, mother, pastor, CEO of a Non-Profit, college professor, coach, businesswoman and itinerant preacher and speaker. How in the world do you do it?” My response to that question heretofore has been the typical balance response of making sure I have good time management and good team of people around me to aid me in all of my responsibilities and a good wellness plan that keeps me healthy and fit.

While all of these things are necessary to strive for what we call “balance”, I want to offer a different word that might shift the conversation in the direction of something more attainable for those who wear many hats. While it may appear to most that I have mastered this thing called balance, I too have asked this meaningful question to others who appear to have it more together than myself.  I have taught seminars and workshops on “the balancing act”, only to struggle with the elusive ideal of “balance” in my own life. 

The word balance suggests that we are in a constant state of equilibrium with an equal distribution of weight and tension. When in fact life is not easily packaged in equal amounts of experiences and responsibilities. The truth is, we are always in a state of flux trying to decide the proper amount of attention to give to the various aspects of our lives.  The challenge with balance is that it is a moving target and just when I think I have mastered it, the target moves and I have to make the right decision for the present moment and life issue that I’m facing.

Well, after 51 of years of being worn out from my quest for balance, I have decided to chunk the idea of maintaining balance for a more attainable virtue of maintaining harmony in my life. Just hearing the word harmony brings a sense of peace and tranquility to my mind and spirit and causes me to exhale and breathe in new life with each breath. Harmony suggests that I can bring the different parts of my life together into consistent orderly agreement and practical congruity.

Here’s are 11 things I have discovered about how to bring and maintain harmony into your life:

• Accept who you are with all your gifts, skills, strengths and weaknesses.  Engage in a self-awareness process with a coach or mentor so you can walk away appreciating who you are and all that you have experienced.
• Learn to love yourself. For many years, I suffered with low self-esteem because of my dark complexion and skin tone. I learned to love myself through a process of study in the word of God and mentors who spoke words that were affirming, causing me to see my own self-worth and value. You cannot love others until you discover and love the masterpiece you were created to be.
•  Do some soul searching on the things that are important you, such as your values.  Once you have discovered those things, match your gifts, skills, strength, weaknesses and values to the activities, jobs and opportunities that are consistent with who you are and what’s important to you.
• Prioritize your family and other significant relationships. Life is to be lived within the context of community.  Relationships make our lives worth living and can be a source of refreshment to our soul.
•  Rid your life of negative people and develop a network of positive forward thinking people. Don’t waste your time trying to make others value you. Allow the work that you do speak and open the right doors of opportunity for you.
• Develop a self-care regiment that is consistent with the things you enjoy. A good self-care plan includes, exercise, healthy eating, rest, relaxation and plain old fun! One of my favorite lines of the flight attendant speech is “In the event of an emergency an oxygen mask will descend. Place your own mask on first before helping those around you." You really can’t take care of the people in your life if you neglect to care for your self.
• Learn to enjoy new things so you don’t become stale and monotonous in your routines.  Get a hobby, learn a new skill, visit a new city or country, try a new dish or restaurant and live life to its fullest.
• Be quick to forgive offenses. Don’t burn bridges because you never know when you may have to cross them again. Get the necessary counsel to help you get over disappointment and pain and keep it moving!
• Don’t be a people pleaser.  If there is one thing that will clutter your life and keep you on a never ending treadmill, it is the idea of being a people pleaser.  You can never satisfy the whimsical indifferences of people. Rather than be tethered to the opinions of people it is better to pay close attention to your own desires, pursue your own goals and follow the path that has been carved out especially for you.
• Develop Your A-Game. Become one of the best in your field and do your best work while doing it. Sharpen your skills by learning from others who are good at their game too.
•  Discover Your A-Team. Find those people who have been called alongside you to help you accomplish those God size dreams and visions.  Whenever your dream and vision involves helping and improving the quality of life for others, it will require people with different and more skill sets than can be embodied in one person.

Life is like a score of music, with simultaneous combinations of tones and rhythms.  Like music, that when blended together into the right chordal structure becomes a melodious masterpiece that is pleasing to the ear, our lives can be lived in a way that makes the chaos of our lives come together in a melody of rhythms that are unique to who we are and what we are destined to be and do.

Since life happens simultaneously, meaning that we live, work and play in the same lifetime, we must discover ways to blend the various parts of our lives into a melodious structure of chords and tones that flow simultaneously. Just like the score of music determines the notes, rhythms, rest points, moods, feelings and crescendos of a musical masterpiece, our lives can be conducted in a manner that gives room to each movement at the right moments, in the right places, with the right people in harmony with our purpose.

Blessings….

Dr. Toni

www.drtonialvarado.com

April Showers Bring May Flowers…

You’ve heard it said, “April Showers Bring May Flowers.” This statement is certainly true in my life. The Month of May is always filled with joy and laughter for me.  Besides the fact that my birthday is May 16^th, I’m always excited about celebrating life and motherhood with my own Mom, sisters and children.  

May is also the month that My Sister’s Keeper Foundation for Women reaches out to the community to serve mothers of children who are hospitalized at Children’s Healthcare of Atlanta-Egleston Hospital on Mother’s Day weekend. MSK has also has chosen to honor the women who have completed our 9 month Leadership and Life Coaching Program, award women in our program with financial scholarships toward their education and professional development, and assist single mothers with extra-curricular and summer camp vouchers for their children.

Last year, I celebrated my 50^th birthday with a Fabulous and Fierce Birthday Gala and fundraiser for My Sister’s Keeper Foundation for Women.  I am still enjoying fond memories and pictures from this momentous event a year later. You may ask why I chose to celebrate my birthday giving back to women and why each year I look for new ways to advance and empower women in my community?  I’m not sure of all of the implications.  However, I believe my opening statement speaks to the heart of why I have chosen to live my life in this manner.

 

I have experienced many moments and seasons where it seemed that life was not treating me fair.  I’ve had rainy seasons and times when I thought I was being over-looked and forgotten. I can relate to failure and struggle and times of confusion where I needed clarity concerning my purpose. But in all that I have accomplished and overcome, I realize as I approach my 51^st birthday, that it was the rainy seasons of my life that have produced the flowers that I enjoy now.  

It was the showers of failing at my first attempt at college that has produced the flowers of education and the opportunities that are afforded to me as result of the degrees I now hold. It was the lessons learned from past hurts and failed relationships that produced the flowers of healthy relationships with my husband, children, mother, sisters, girlfriends and countless women that I now coach and mentor.

The month of May is a month that I have chosen to celebrate all of life. Whether bad or good, life is worth celebrating.  Not only have I chosen to celebrate me, I have chosen to celebrate you! For whether you realize it or not, it is the rainy seasons of your life that has produced the most growth you could ever imagine. Enjoy this season and every season because, “April Showers 'really do' Bring May Flowers!”

Blessings…

Dr. Toni

www.drtonialvarado.com

www.mskfoundation.org

www.coachingmomentswithdrtoni.com